Find God’s Match for You

“Find God’s Match for You.” Every time I hear Christian Mingle’s slogan on the radio, red flags go up in my head.

Someone is making a claim that they have a system where God coordinates “matches” or pairings of Christian singles. Here is a little excerpt from The Daily Irritant to get you thinking about this:

So God has someone in mind for you. But what, he doesn’t do retail? He needs a middle-man?

Man. I’d really like to see Jim and Judy get together, those kids would be perfect for each other, but if I set them up, then I”m going to have to fix up everybody, and who has the time?

Plus, last time didn’t work out so great, and I’m never gonna hear the end of that!

How is it not offensive to claim that their business is to hook you up with “God’s Match?” Since they are the ones doing the matchmaking, are they not claiming to be God? Is that not blasphemy? Does that not earn you a stoning?

Or are they saying that once you pay them your money, then and only then will God reveal unto them the person who is the perfect match for you, and quell surprise! she’s also a Christian Mingle client! And somehow God never recommends anyone who isn’t a client of their company. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

Oh, and one more thing… God is Imaginary, so the whole thing (sweet as it sounds) is a big sham. You might get matched up with someone compatible (and I really hope it works out), but God will not actually have a part in the matching (since he doesn’t exist). It is only one’s wishful thinking that allows one to buy into Christian Mingle’s slogan.

Christian Mingle makes a bundle on your wishful thinking–$9.99 to $29.99 per person per month depending on the length of the term for which you sign up. There’s also a $3.99 processing fee when you sign up for the first time. You must pay up-front and in advance for whatever term you sign up for and the term automatically renews (meaning your credit card is automatically charged). God’s finance guy seems pretty shrewd to me.  You might have thought God would do it for free…